The moral high ground

 Its nice up here on the moral high ground I can use my principles to keep me warm and occasionally indulge in a bit of …am I turning into a Daily Mail reader guilt. Anyway somebody has asked me to do something that I’m not happy with and I’m not quite sure how to react…should I tell them about the moral highground?

A friend (maybe not for much longer) is an immigrant from America, she moved here shortly before her son was born to marry the father of the child. The relationship broke down within a year but as a British citizen they were able to claim benefits. (IMMIGRANTS BENEFITS this really is a Daily Mail story).

I’m fine with this, I support the idea of a benefit system that helps people when they need it (for example struggling single mothers) and I pay a good deal of tax to support it. However the benefit claimant doesn’t support the idea and is very critical stating that in the states people are ‘more self reliant’ because there is less of a safety net. She wouldn’t get a home and an income back in the US…she reported herself to social services as she felt she wasn’t coping with her child and somebody actually came and cleared up her house.

 She is planning to go to university to build a better life for herself and her child and again I’m prepared to support this. However, however she isn’t planning on staying- once she has her degree and her son is older she actually plans to work in the US so as not to pay tax here. I’m not entirely comfortable with this but we all have to make decisions and she may stay…

But she has money in the US, her grandmother left her enough to buy a house (for example). If she were to bring the money over here she would loose her benefits. Again I feel that she is able to exploit her position in a way that I couldn’t. She has now asked me to bring in some money for her, through my account, trying to get round the money laundering regulations, tax etc. I partly don’t want to because of the risk involved and partly because I think it’s wrong.

Up on the moral high ground I broadly believe that people should pay their taxes. They support a system of government that we voted for. I’m a public sector accountant I feel I should support a high standard of financial probity and I don’t feel that you should undermine a system that you benefit from. And actually I don’t pay taxes to support people who have cash they could use themselves.

Holding myself back…

O the flirty friend and her husband have finally split up- which was inevitable. Since the rather strange occurence in the summer I’ve been avoiding her in one to one situations. However I did go on a book club night out with her in the summer. She had just got back with her husband and was so happy….then she got drunk and made a pass at me in front of my husband. Since then I’ve avoided her in all situations as I wanted to make sure I wasn’t implicated when the shit hit the fan. I’ve learnt that simply NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR is not enough.

Anyway they have now split because she kissed the 21 year old bar man in his local. It was coming, they seemed to have got back together without confronting the big issue in their relationship- fidelity.

She wants sympathy but I want to say…WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!!

Lies, damn lies and statistics….

Oh dear…working mothers are getting canned for having unhealthy children and I must say I don’t stack up well. However I’m not sure if this says more about my parenting or about statistics…

Participation in organised sport- I’m afraid it’s a no. We go swimming on a Sunday and usually cycle on a Saturday. We go to the park and for walks in the woods Holidays are spent near lakes and seas wild swimming. We get exercise everyday but I’m afraid it’s a no for organised sport. All this is about to change- on Friday he starts football, he’s asked to go and I feel a cultural imperative for him to have some understanding of football and to be honest its not something his dad will be passing on to him.

Eating fruit the question looked at children who eat 2 or less pieces of fruit compared to children who eat 3 or more. I’m afraid I fail here as well. Yesterday my son ate

 Breakfast- porridge and an apple

Snack- rice cakes

Lunch – pasta and pesto, cucumber, grapes and a yoghurt

 Snack –brown bread with marmite

Dinner- omelette carrots and peas

That’s only 2 pieces of fruit. Today we’re down to one piece of fruit as he has taken carrot and hummus for lunch rather than grapes. Are carrots less healthy than grapes?

Eating snacks (such as crisps, sweets, biscuits and fizzy drinks) – I’m winning on this one its no for everything. He’s only 7 he hasn’t encountered fizzy drinks yet; he drinks apple juice, water or rosehip tea.

Watching TV for 2 hours or more a day. No chance here as he goes to after school club so no time for TV. I’m a mean mum we have no TV during the week and an hour each weekend day unless we have family film night and watch a film together.

Driving him to school- fail fail fail its about 13 miles and we could in theory cycle 2 miles to the station, catch the train for 45 mins and then cycle a mile at the other end but we don’t. I am considering driving him close to school then cycling. Arguably we could cycle all the way….I suppose.

If I was at home would things be different? Well I guess we wouldn’t have picked a school so far away as we couldn’t afford it so he probably would walk or cycle to school. I can’t see him eating significantly more fruit- if I was at home more and cooked more maybe more vegetables? We tend to have soup on a Saturday. Probably more snacks to as we wouldn’t have the rigour of school in enforcing the tea time snack. Definitely more TV as I’d need the space; and I really have no idea about organised sport. He has wanted to do things before (gymnastics) but I’ve not found a class outside of school time so maybe but at the moment he has an hour of disorganised sport (running, climbing trees, getting to grips with the monkey bars) at after school club so although he might get more sport I think he’d get less exercise.

How did I find myself in church singing carols?

I know I’ve blogged about atheist Christmas before but it is something I find slightly awkward. I love Christmas, I like trees and presents and big family get togethers. I like having something to think about when it’ cold and dull. I like the midwinter festival.

 However we don’t believe in the story of the nativity, which for my son is rather integral to Christmas as they tell the story at school. At the same time there is an element to Christmas that is about ritual, the process of advent, the tree, decorating the house with holy….

So what does it take to get a confirmed atheist to church?

Very little it turns out! I was sitting in a café with my son and his best friend. The BF is Christadelphian and I consider to be very religious as they go to church at least twice a week and organise events for the church. The BF is also very very cute and he looks up at me with his big blue eyes through his long blond fringe….’would you like to come to our carol service, we’ve been organising it and I’ve made biscuits…’ his mum tries to hush him and my son turns to me…can we mum please?

OK I say.

I have a word with his mum afterwards- is it the story we know, will there be much focus on salvation and hellfire…

Come the day of the service I have serious misgivings- I’ve looked Christadelphian up on Wikipedia and discovered that they believe that the bible is the literal word of god. So when it say angel it means…angel. I’m also not sure what to wear feeling that I should wrap up warm but not wear jeans.

We arrive at the church slightly late but before they start, my son sits on the front row with the BF. I sit at the back and boil, the fires of hell may be hot but the church was putting up some stiff competition. The carol service was lovely- mainly the songs that I know from school. Precussion instruments were given out so that we could join in when the Vicar led us in a Caribbean carol on his guitar. They told the story of the nativity- each child was given a model of a character to bring to the front at the appropriate moment and power point was used to illustrate the story.

Near the end the vicar started to talk …it has been hard he said to read this story today oh no I thought hear comes the message…because I’m having trouble with my glasses….my husband and I exchange confused glances….however he says there is nothing wrong with my ears and I think I hear bells In comes Father Christmas ringing bells and distributing presents to the children. Which leaves me wondering, as an atheist can I object to the commercialisation of Christmas?

Superheroes and Heroines

Superheroes seem to fall fully into the realms of boys activities. The 6 and 7 year old boys I know are super hero crazy and this obsession seems to run across the different demographic groups of kids we meet (school, football and super camp). In some ways I’m quite pleased because it means my son has something in common with the other children he meets. The girls play too but mainly with the boys rather than on their own.

I get annoyed that the female super heroes have such sexy costumes – I’m not sure that crop tops and high heels are perfect for fighting the forces of evil…

My son has recently got hold of a copy of an X-men comic. It’s completely incomprehensible as it starts part way through 2 different stories and doesn’t complete either. It also seems to assume a knowledge of previous characters and stories that we don’t have. He keeps wanting us to read it to him.

In the comic there is a picture of Storm which has impressed my son greatly. He has created his own super hero (Tempest) and is making a Tempest costume as we speak…amusingly he’s gone for the same hot pants and crop top as the hero in the picture with a velvet cape. If it was a daughter I would certainly worry about the sexualisation of young girls as it is I’m mainly worried that he’s going to get ripped to shreds by other children who have a better understanding of the girls wear X and boys wear Y rules. And yet I certainly don’t want to be the one to tell him about these ‘rules’ or become the arbitrator of them.

Judge by the standards you wish to be judged

I teach fairly small groups of students and tend to get to know my students quite well. However at the beginning of each term I meet a new group- I’m faced with a sea of faces and an inability to remember names. I ask them each to tell me their names and something interesting about themselves. I start..

 My name is Storm and in the last year I’ve read all of the Famous Five books (to my 7 year old) – its affected my language so excuse the exclamations of golly…Last week he was particularly happy and said …oh I do feel gay today.

 Occasionally somebody says something that really surprises me, when this happens I usually find my preconceptions have been challenged in some way. Often preconceptions I was completely unaware of.

 This term I was taken by surprise when a female student said; my main interest outside work is eastern European military history…I found it hard to respond knowing remarkably little about this topic or how one persuade it as an interest.

 I mentioned later to another tutor that this had happened and he said…you’re just picturing her in a uniform now aren’t you….

 I wasn’t but every time I say her now I think of it and the Chumbawamba song Add Me starts to go round in my head…

Here’s a picture of me in my Nazi uniform
doing a trick with an egg that I like to perform
at a monster truck rally that my Mum and me attend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

 

Obviously, the more I get to know her, and she proves to be a likeable intelligent individual, the more I question my own preconceptions.

My favourite sleep story

A blog I read was having a carnival of sleep deprivation. I loved the idea of celebrating all those sleepness nights with sleep depravation stories. Or any stories I was very disapointed when the soap I was listening to on the World Service ended.

 My favourite sleep story is very short…but needs a tiny bit of background. My son was a terrible sleeper until he was 6 and ¾. Getting him to sleep every night was long and traumatic and people including my parents seemed to think it was my parenting that was at fault. If only I….let him stay up later, gave him a bath, fed him different food….he would sleep.

 I met a mature student who was pregnant with her 7^th child…I said to her…Oh I suppose you’ve got the whole sleep thing sorted and she said…no

 Her first 5 children and been really good sleepers and she thought ‘hey this is easy’ those other people who can’t get their children to sleep should do it like me..they are so rubbish. Baby number 6 NO SLEEP!! It wouldn’t go down- it wouldn’t stay down….

 She did nothing different, there was no illness…some children just don’t sleep.

 I can’t tell you how this cheered me.

Maternal Instincts…And lego

I found myself looking at the lego figures in their little super hereo capes and thinking how cute they looked.  I think I’ve found my maternal instincts…

More poor financial reporting…

I wouldn’t expect it of the Economist but in an article about PFI transactions they suggested that the government were doing something ‘dodgy’ when in fact they are not.  The article implied that the UK were being forced to bring these transactions into line with international accounting standards and that government are producing 2 sets of accounts 9one that complies and one that doesn’t).

 At the moment the treatment of PFI projects is covered by FRS5 which is a UK accounting standard. It tells UK companies how to account for things and through the writing of the standard and the writing of the PFI transactions most PFI projects are ‘off balance sheet’.  From 2009-10 UK Central Goverment is adopting internationl reporting standards. This year is the first year that they will be using international standards and international standards will bring PFI projects on ‘balance sheet’. At present government is producing 2 sets of accounts- one using international standards and one using UK to aid comparability. This is good practice and will also allow for the whole of government accounts to be completed as other parts of the public sector are not yet using international reporting standards. 

Moreover UK government decision to adopt international accounting standards is a bold move designed to make UK government accounts comparable with other organisations. Organisations such as the Accounting Standards Board are set up with the private sector in mind and it is broadly accepted that public sector accounting is a ‘matter for government’. The UK is the first country to adopt international accounting standards for central government accounts and they have selected to adopt the full standards rather than those designed for the public sector. International Public Sector standards are all together less rigourous.

Big changes ahead

But not yet he has 3 more weeks before he gets more time to practice his juggling. Now I want to fast forward time so we can get on with the big changes.