Before I had my son I thought this debate was more or less over. I believed that the answer was maybe, depending on the women…the job…childcare…money etc.
Oh how wrong I was! My parents separated when I was small and made 2 new happy families. My dad and his wife took the approach that EVERYONE should stay home….live off the state and be creative…or smoke dope….the women still seemed to do the cooking….My mum and her husband ending up taking a conventional route…my mum stayed home step-dad went to work….later when I was about 10 my mum went back to uni….got a PhD became a university lecturer…but it was always second to my dads job…mainly because he earnt more…however she still did the cooking!
I was always given the impression that these arrangements were a result of skills/preferences/circumstances and did not reflect a belief that woman should cook, look after children etc. I was always told to go for it, work hard, achieve academically.
When I got pregnant I was 28, I was (am) a qualified accountant. I enjoyed my job; I worked hard to get where I was. So when I became pregnant I assumed that I would return to work…I arranged childcare, I interviewed nurseries….
When I was making plans top go back to work my step-dad kept saying well wait and see you might not want to leave the poor little sod, wait and see what happens….
Then the baby came along and I went on maternity leave for 6 months. I missed my job, the responsibility, challenge, people. I was bored. My family thought I had postnatal depression….
I was also very poor…..
On the first day I dropped him of at nursery my friends and colleagues said don’t worry if you cry its normal…When i dropped him off I took him up the steps and handed him over….as I did it I felt a familar smell and walked down the steps wth a song in my heart….for once this was somebodies elses problem!! Somebody else was taking over some of the chores and I knew they were capable.
When I got to work I had a cup of tea and nobody tried to grab it out of my hands….
