Pregnant Man

http://doctorz.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/on-the-pregnant-man-story/ I read this blog, which is a thoughtful, informed view on the subject. It did however lead me to some less thoughtful less well informed thoughts….Firstly antenatal classes would have been a lot more fun if there was a pregnant man there….it was all so worthy with the men sidelined and desperate to say the right thing…And woman at their most motherly; I’m sure that if a pregnant man had been there the possibility that men may be involved in this parenting malaky may have to have been considered. At one point a we were divided into male and female groups so that we could ‘honestly’ say what we most feared…the acceptable male answer was ’seeing my wife in pain’ . One man answered ’stretch marks- ultimate turnoff’; which as I didn’t have to live with him struck me as the one moment of geniune humour in the whole course.Although now I think about it- I was also very amused when the midwife told my husband he’d have to help more around the house- possibly learn how to make his own breakfast. I’m not sure people who can’t put cereal in a bowl and add milk should be allowed to breed.Secondly I was reminded of how many people have some sort of assisted conceptions- at an NCT meeting I was shocked to find that mine was the only entirely naturally occurring pregnancy…It seems half of us are desperately trying not to get pregnant whilst the other half are trying to. As for men getting pregnant- bring it on I say! Its not much fun…. 

Natures Bounty

Things are getting going in the garden; last week on my birthday the hens obligingly began to lay so we know have lovely fresh eggs in the morning….lots of lovely fresh eggs…around 3 a day…This fills me with a mixture of joy and horror…joy at natures bounty and horror at all the eggs…I’m not sure my partner likes eggs and I’m uncertain of how many egg based recipes I can slip in before my son notices…I’m not even sure how much I like eggs…This sudden profusion of eggs led me to thinking about spring and I noticed with delight (and horror) that the plum tree is in blossom, this can only mean one thing; its getting closer to plum season. The garden will fill with plums- well they might be plums- could be damsons I can’t really say one way or the other- before the plum tree I never really thought about plums, I certainly don’t think I ever bought them. I don’t mind plums as a fruit but between the toes as you accidentally slip is most unpleasant. My partner also has the habit of coming up behind me and romantically slipping one in my mouth, very sweet the first time, but last season I did find myself edging away from him at likely looking moments when my palate wasn’t thinking, ‘oh I know plums’.This year I intend to share the burden (I mean bounty) so soon our neighbours will also be full of eggs and  plums (or damsons).

Birthdays

 ! I’m no longer in my early 30s. This week I turned 34, I’m not sure how I feel about this. Turning 30 was good- I was on a high I was looking good, fab job,  great partner, lovely son and a house that was big enough to feel like an achievement…whats changed?? Not much…same job, same partner, same house…I’m a little fatter (size UK 14 so not exactly obese!)…I just don’t feel that things have moved on…and yet there is nothing I really want to change…What can I say?? I should be grateful- its just a likely strange to have achieved my life plan by 30. I kind of feel I have some time left over… The Birthday itself was lovely- thoughtful presents from those I love (well my son gave me a pink skipping rope but he chose it very careful). My partner took me to the theatre and to my favourite restaurant. The restaurant was amazing- its the Ikon in Birmingham; it serves authentic Catalan tapas and is one of the most interesting places I’ve been for vegetarian food…The theatre was very good but not gripping. We went to see the Lady from the Sea (Ibsen) it seemed to be very well done but a slightly odd play. Well almost 2 plays its the story of a family and the daughters are going through a very conventional life stuck out in the middle of nowhere waiting for husbands to rescue them….whilst the step mother loses her mind. She has fallen ion love with somebody other than the husband, somebody who represents the freedom of the sea (possibly a drowned man). She cannot rest- eventually he comes for her and her husband releases her to go with him…once given a choice that allows her to exercises her own free will she choses her husband and children and the much smaller world…The set was amazing operating on a number of levels and with real water and flowers, using reflections to create a sense of space…A little hard work with 1 eye….It did make me long for the sea….

My husband is perfect…

Its driving me crazy.I know that really I shouldn’t hold this against him but my husband is perfect. He shares the household chores (OK he does most of them), he’s the one who remembers to clean the sink and loads the dishwasher. He cooks sometimes and takes an equal responsibility for the childcare. If my son is ill then the school should phone the husband….However the thing that annoys me is that everybody tells me how damn wonderful he is!! If a woman were to do the same then nobody would mention it.  When I was studying accountancy people would ask me what the husband did whilst I was studied (to which I was always tempted to answer wank); when I have to stay over night for work people ask me where my son is (tied to the radiator) and seem to think that at home with his dad is a surprising answer…The school don’t phone the husband- however explicit my instructions…

My eye..I lied

I am currently taking a week off work due to an eye injury. My son poked me in the eye with his finger nail. It hurt like hell…then hurt some more…This is the closest I’ve come to taking time off work for child related reasons…and I’ve lied about how the injury occurred. In my workplace parents with children are allowed 2 days special leave to cover breakdown of childcare arrangements etc. I have never taken this…  I feel it would undermine my position as a career focused women…the person who sits opposite me seems to have a child who often makes her late, absent or leave early…  Anyway I have yet again been completely impressed by the NHS- the injury occurred whilst away for the weekend (Blackpool, staying with friends not doing the tacky kiss me quick thing). I spent all day convincing myself that surely the problem would disappear but no such luck- so I ended up in A+E on bank holiday Sunday…where I was seen and treated within an hour. It was efficient polite and effective. Today I went to the eye clinic for a follow up; it was similarly quick, efficient, pleasant etc. The only thing I would change are the chairs- they are arranged in a kind of maze which makes it difficult to find a seat without volting over a row of chairs…tricky to negotiate with an eye injury.. 

Killing me with kindness

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/feb/27/worklifebalance

This article shows that woman who have babies often ‘waste’ their talents and move down the career lader. They ‘chose’ jobs that allow them to put their childcarre responsibilities first.  Quelle suprise….do we need studies to tell us this? 

 when i had my son I was a recently quaified accountant; I had asked my boss what i could do whilst on maternity leave to stay uptodate- he’d replied that I was going to be busy enough and we’d worry about it when I got back. When I returned from maternity leave I found that I was given a ‘light’workoad with little responsibility. This was an act of consideration…had I stayed I would have found that as I hadn’t done certain things I wouldn’t get promoted…however I wasn’t going to bwe given the opportunity to do anything.

I left. And took up a more demanding and rewarding job. I didn’t tell them I had a child at the interview….

I’m not a mother!!

It was Mothers Day on Sunday. My son made me a mothers day card at school and was delighted to give it to me. He also presented me with random stuff throughout the day (half a biscuit, a stone, a pine cone). I thought this was quite sweet.

 some friends of mine sent me text messages wishing me happy mothers day…somehow I found this disturbing and it made me want to shout I AM NOT A MUM!! Nobody texted me on my annual performance review day….

More disturbingly when my son was little (6 months) people kept asking me what my husband would get me for mothers day…to which I wanted to shout I’M NOT HIS MUM!! Luckily my husband knows this and got me nothing thus avoiding years of recrimination…