I believe that my grandmother houses the national chutney collection. She has a whole shed full of chutney. I’ve often wondered how this came to pass.

I now think I know- its the chutney mafia. These misguided woman believe in waste not want not. The dovote time and energy to their gardens and when (inevtiably) the effort pays off they have a glut of produce (apple, carrot, apricot, green tomatoes, beetroot). It can’t be wasted it must be ‘enjoyed’. So they make chutney…nobody really requires 15 jars of chutney so they give some to a friend who returns the favour….

Its not just chutney- this year alone I’ve been given rhubarb, various salad, rocket, pumkin plants, lovage, lemon balm, violets….The rhubarb comes with suggestions on what to do with rhubarb…i won’t add my own here on grounds of decency…but consider this when gardening don’t grow things that you don’t want.

Recently I’ve had a fair bit of time out from being a mum. I’ve loved it- I feel like a different person. First I went to paris on Eurostar for a long weekend and was very arty. Then I had a staff conference and I’ve just come back from Glastonbury. 

I’ve just come back from Glastonbury festival. It was fantastic….we saw some great things. Wandered round looked at things…

 Jay Z was really good fun- because he worked really hard with the crowd.. Fat Boy Slim was great fun although I did think he was a smug bastard. He came on with a lap top- shouted 1234  occasionally  bit of pretend running…a smug grin. Whats so cool?? The crowd went wild- actually the crowd went wild before he really started- he tried to tease us but we went wild anyway. I loved it! Leonard Cohen was boring…He was very good and I like him more than I did before however…he was dull. Although given that he famously became an alcoholic to overcome stage fright it seems mean to say- he’s not a natural performer….

 Looking at things was cool- lots of crazy circus acts; green technology; food; hippy junk….insane people. We were especially taken with a 50 year old wearing a triathlon suit; fairy wings and dancing to Mr Cohen.

 Lots of people had children with them; lucky not us! It looked really hard work!

 The walking; all day walking and standing…I was exhausted and didn’t go as wild as I wanted! On Sunday I set out to get pissed but after 2 pints of home brew peasant cider (lovely) and some apple brandy I went on the gyroscope and to be honest couldn’t drink anymore! I had to lay down for several hours…

 The gyroscope was soo cool- like floating. I loved being apple to move my body so fluidly and easily….  

The best thing was spending time with my wonderful husband when we didn’t have to think about work, family, responsibilities. We were just having fun together….

Parts of my family are very committed to complimentary medicine. My step-mother is a body harmony therapist (which I believe is a bit like the laying on of hands but without touching). At one point she was expelled from the body harmony movement for touching*. As a child rescue remedy, belladonna and arnica were companions of our childhood illnesses.

As an adult I’ve sort out alternative therapists on a number of occasions- when my son was young and wouldn’t sleep I saw a homeopath. When I couldn’t catch up with my energy I saw a natropath. On both occasions the most useful aspect of the treatment was talking through the problems and looking at factors that could effect the issues under discussion (my son had a slight dairy sensitivity) and getting ‘common sense’ advice (take iron). In neither case was there any suggestion that this was instead of seeing a doctor. I suppose I’ve seen it more as away of tapping onto community knowledge since we’ve experienced the loss of communities.

Recently I had an interesting experience- I saw the school doctor for my son. It was similar to be experience of alternative therapies- we spent an hour talking about him- she played some games to test cooridination, tested his eye sight etc. The time taken gave her the opportunity to take an all round view. The conclusion reached was that we should monitor the situation and not take action yet.  Another unrelated issue was idenitified through discussions that needs to be investigated. When I visited my GP the diagnosis was that he should be referred to a speech therapist; the GP made this diagnosis without my son saying anything…

Which brings me to me central point; complimentary medicines can have an important part to play in dispensing common sense advice and encouraging a patient to look at his/her behaviour to identify the causes of the problem. However this isn’t only something that can happen in that environment….

Complimentary therapists should also be encouraged to be honest about their skills and capabilities- it clearly isn’t an alternative to scientific medicine and shouldn’t exclude scientific medicine.

*she had a relationship with a patient 15 years her junior and rather gorgeous; the expulsion may have been because he was a patient or because she stole him from another body harmony teacher…(and yes life is that predictable)

I was in a car crash at the weekend. I’m trying to get some perspective but I’m struggling. I can’t believe we are expected to carry on with our normal lives…. We just walk away and continue….

Perspective would be appropriate as I feel like this terrible think happended. In the scale of things it didn’t but I still feel….

My brother had a new car; he hasn’t driven for a while as he lost his licence in a drink driving incident only 2 weeks after getting the licence. We were driving to my aunts to celebrate my grandmothers 89th birthday. I wasn’t sure where I was going as I haven’t visited often. He was following me…I stopped to turn right. I propably stopped to fairly unexpectedly but I didn’t slam on the brakes or anything. Neither did he. He didn’t break at all…slammed straight into the back of my at 40 miles an hour. My mum and son were in my car….the noise was horrific.

His son and our dad were in his car. Everybody had the correct seat belts; nobody was hurt. The cars are in a bad bad way.. His looks destroyed, it couldn’t be driven and the radiator leaked all over the floor. The back end of mine is hanging down and there is a crease in the floor of the boot. I love my car but it can be repaired.

The consequences for my brother are rather more serious. He bought his car last week for £4,000; proably slightly more than its worth. It may be written off. He’s unlikely to get enough money on the insurance to replace it. His insurance in future years is likely to be astronomical as legally its his ‘fault’.

He wasn’t very happy before this happended with his girlfriend leaving him, him being forced to live back at my parents for financial reasons, and only seeing his son at weekends. The car was like the something good…the begining of turning the corner…

But nobody was hurt; but nobody was hurt 

Last weekend I went to the theatre with my son and five of his friends…they had a great time it was so cute to see them when they first meet. They all ran up and shook hands with each other. The performance was amazing with immense professionalism by the cast despite obvious provocations…..The children in our party gazed on completely capitavated…

However not all of the audience knew how to behave in the theatre…Here’s some tips; accumulated during several years of theatres and children.

1) Arrive on time or you will miss the begining. The show we saw on Saturday started at 2. People stopped arriving at 2.40. The first people left at 2.45; it was like watching a show on the M6.

2) Its ment to be fun. If you tell your children off the whole time they won’t enjoy it…Plus its far more annoying to here you shouting at your child than whatever your child is doing. 

3) If you are only 4ft high then its OK to stand. You won’t block anyones view.

4) Sweets make children hyper…if you feed them sweets and coke for the whole of the first half (to keep them quite) don’t expect them to be calm in the second half. 

5) Theatre is for boys as well as girls. Whenever I take my son there are loads of mother daughter combos but stories, acting and dressing up isn’t just for girls. The 5 we took at the weekend loved it. The girls might like football for a change.

6) Go for a run first! Children find it difficult to sit still- take them for a run first to use up some of their energy…then they will enjoy it.

7) Wear comfortable clothes; linen suits may be de-riguer for adults at the theatre but are not suitable for 4 year olds. Ties are unnecessary. Relax; enjoy yourself.   Don’t pay too much for tickets; if it costs too much you will have too much invested in it working out and can’t relax…or bail if its a disaster.

9) Avoid anything you think you might not understand. We went to a performance with fully integrated sign language…one character spoke; the other signed. You could guess what the signing character said from the speaking characters reaction…Too much thinking for a 4 year old…

10) If the special needs kid behind you makes noises like a kazoo the whole way through…ignore it- they are enjoying themselves…If its the mum you can comment!

I didn’t vote in the local elections. I feel really guilty as I believe in the moral duty to vote. I had tried to forget about it but today one of my students bought an article carefully saved from the Times titled ‘Why It Matters’. As I’ve lectured them about the importance of voting; the key features of liberal democracy and the relationship between central and local government; he assumed I would be interested. He assumed I cared.

The working woman fought long and hard for the vote; as did the working man. The last 100 years has seem an enormous social upheaval- almost a revolution that has taken power from the property owning minority to the many. Now we have that power we should use it.

So why didn’t I vote?

Is it because it was local elections?

No; I do generally agree with the article that local government still has some significant powers that affect local quality of life.

Is it because it was too damn difficult?

No; Its a 3 min walk on safe well lit streets to the local school; I’m on the elctoral register. All I have to do is turn up with my card and put a cross in a box. I should be able to make the effort.

Is it because I don’t know who to vote for?

Partly; my local council is inefficent and overspending. It has poor control of resources and a lack of independence in its finance function. It is however controlled by a party I feel ideological affinity too.

Is it because I don’t care?

Again partly; my local seat is not threatened my any extremist parties and I don’t really think it matters which of the other parties gets in. Also I don’t consider myself to be at home; I don’t feel that I’m permanent here- that I care about this town. Which is just silly as I live here, work here and send my son to school here.

However this is not enough to excuse the dereliction of my social duty. I will vote next time.

 Fortunately he wasn’t. He drove me to a hotel, and waited for me. When I couldn’t find a vacancy he took me to another hotel. He didn’t ask for money or try to asault me. He was just kind.

 I’ve had such a lovely weekend; on Sunday we went to the Cotswolds with some friend walking- we visited a water park where people were canoeing; my son and his friend went down to the edge of the water where some canoeists were relaunching and got into a protracted discussion with them about crocodiles…the canoeists showed the children an animal they found and generally engaged with the boys. I thought it was a lovely kind thing for them to do.

It reminded me of the other things people have done for me; the skateboarders who carried my shopping home; the man who watched my son sleeping on a train whilst I unloaded all my luggage; the person who gave me money for the nappy machine on a stressed shopping Saturday when I ran out of nappies…..and the many people who’ve helped me up steps, onto trains and to amuse my child in airports, train stations etc.

Most of my students are adults. They come on the course on day release and study at home. Its challenging and takes 3 and a half years. At the moment some of my students are studying for a 7 hour exam….those with dyslexia get extra time. This could be considered cruel and unusual torture.

They are studying accountancy; which to be frank is not that interesting. Some of the things you can do with it are interesting but studying it…no.

Occasionally my students say things that make me wonder why they are here;

‘I used to be an astronomer in Hawai’

‘I grew up in the circus’

‘I’ve only got a year to live and I want to complete this before I die’*

I have dyscalculia

‘I have a 4 month old baby and I’m still on maternity leave’

Ah…The last one makes me very uncomfortable; I’m not sure I’m happy with a thought process that flags this up.  When I had a baby I still wanted to be a professional; yes it probably is more challenging if you have family commitments but I wouldn’t be so suprised if it was a guy with a 4 month old baby.

And why? Because I still after everything tend to asume that she’ll be caring for the baby.

*Unfortunately although he sat his exams prior to dying the qualification had to be awarded after he died.

My life has changed…I always felt that I didn’t want to be one of these parents who were defined by their children; you know the type; who reply to every query with a little anecdote about little Jonny…so a casual ‘how are you?’ is answered with a discourse on little Jonnys sleeping patterns…And such a funny story about the time little Jonny ate broccoli…

However my life has changed; its changed because my son has changed. He’s met people who are more fun than me! (I know imagine how fun must they be!). But there are now people who he’d rather be with than me. And I’ve started inviting them round to our house; or meeting up with their mums….Its like I can breathe again.

These other people (lets call them friends) actually want to play Thomas or gnomes or made up superheros for as many hours as he does; which lets be frank- I don’t!

And I’m not pregnant….so I don’t have to start again and can get back to planning my trip to China!

I’ve been experimenting with natural mathods of contraception this month…I say experimenting because I didn’t do it properly with charts and thermometers I just counted the days from the begining of my cycle. I did the count at a point when I really wanted to have sex and was not at home……

I’ve been waking up in the mornings feeling sick, my breasts are tender……

I’m quite excited really. although we had decided not to have more children as there are adventures we would like to have that we feel would be difficult with an additional child. In many ways I’d like to have a child with someone else and co-parent….but I’m not sure I know anyone who’d like to share a child with me….